I WALKED THE PATH OF A WARRIOR.

Some will say that image is a mockery of the uniform. I think of my time, 14 years, and stand back with a match and gasoline to light. I was the fool. I believed whole heartedly in what I was about and still do, however I will start dropping my own bombs.

My initial fears turned forward

I was a curious kid. I lived in mirage somwhere between Wily Wonkas chocolate factory and The Great Outdoors starring John Candy. I would say my innocence laid in that portrayal a boy with the best of intentions that over values his worth and the mess came forth. What I saw was a world that had lost its innocence long ago. It came quicker and quicker as the years turned. Folded faster with th internet. I was amazed how much the lights turned on around the world. I was born in 82 adopted at birth and my birth record said August 28th. By the time the internet had turned on I was already In high gear. Never really a church kid but a whole lot of insight. A man sat at a table many of nights discussing politics and unfortunately this fish took the bait. My father who I will still say to this day is level headed to say the least but implicts enough selfishness toward father of the year on the outside and lacked the teaching and guidance to see how fast my generation was moving on the inside. The 90’s political atmosphere was revelent of a stereotypical nightmare of a country still so afraid of anything that was not the same as them that they arrogantly boasted to each other in not so many tones

“Fuck you I will win”

This was on music to movies to news. Our country was in the work hard play hard beat that kid to death rage. Im not gonna go into to much but I got enough trauma to make a psychiatrist phone a friend and that one to get back to them cuz they need to think this over. Im not alone. America had been busy doing this to many of the little boys and girls. The conspiracies ended the day I got too boot camp and taped to the wall is

Thank God for all the mentally physically and sexually abused kids without them there would be no 173rd airborne, rangers, or special forces

Sen Ted Kennedy

I dont know if its really his quote but it was there and definitely showed me something I had not known.

The Path To Basic

Strategic is my championship in life if anything. Sexually molested at age 3 and pushing boundaries past that at break neck speed. My strategy was particular. I moved with a mantra smile kid it will get better. My record fights in one day was 8 and I lost everyone. The one I did win got me grounded. No toys, no phone, No TV, selected books and of course don’t leave your room unless Hall Pass granted. My dad chose books about business mostly. I read them and reading became my passion. By age 15 I had at least a bachelor’s in strategy. Living that long proved well worth its weight in Gold. I went to school that bordered Hicktown and the Hood and it swathed in diversity similar Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy. I had 600 plus in my class and we graduated with 200 give or take. I was our lowest GPA an impressive 1.66. Almost like nails on a chalkboard for the education community I imagine. Ive wondered where I faultered for a while till my care about it vanished at 3 and was solidified on repeat. I won, I lost, I died, I rose to do it again many times and sometimes twice in the same day. Im not gonna say Columbine surprised me. It wasnt right but neither was what was happening to those kids either. My kill count would have been higher. I actually went into great detail on my plan. Sorry to scare you if I did. I left out the fact that the years of violence led me to a thirst for dominating control in people last moments of life,who would regard themselves as innocent bystanders. Lets check snopes check that though. Its not looking too good. I asked for help when my mom tried to stab me… laughs. Ill spare the gore. Plus the dirt I had lol please sit down and relax. I didnt do it. I was showing another person how to get a higher kill count. See where I see the whole problem in the facade is the ambush point. According to Vietnam books read from the library your first 12 seconds are the make or break point for any successful shooting. Its gotta be set up to your advantage if your going to ambush. Ask all who perished after there attack. Picked up by police. Taken to prison. Killed in some stupid beef. My attack would actually leave no witnesses and allow me to escape and evade the pesky police. Ill keep the details to myself but its really not that hard to figure out. Some one else was paying attention.

January 22nd 2001

I walked out with my buddies towards my car. A beautiful mazda 626 multi color of course. I was actually in good mood because The army recruiter had just been to my house. It was my senior year. 1.6 and college didnt seem to get along. My dad told me to figure it out. It was already written let me just tell you that. We got into the car. Probably talking about something stupid actually and about a mile away we ran into life changing event 2785. My curiosity still peaks at this one because this starts to shape a darkness that appears to surround my existence. All of a sudden 2pac seems to make a lot sence. Im passing some guy walking on the side of the road.

Boom

I stop to shouts of fuck and let me out. The guy is now in my car assaulting my passengers. I grab the only thing I got. A CO2 pump action paintball gun. Its there for me to take to a repair store because it doesn’t work to well. I do what im inherently trained to do defend myself. See fight or flight in the words of psychiatry is broken by event 2785. It left somewhere around a 1000. The human mind which mine is being conditioned at your wrong or your wrong now looks at fellow humans as unpredictable creatures that do wild things that spark facination. Hence why your TV cries yes play that sad story about that family, or the 200th time of the world is coming to an end. So naturally im defending myself. Gun point strike with barrel. Thats right I bopped so trmedously he did nothing accept attack some more. Screeching tires Van and he takes off and the van peels out. I go to Auto Tech where our destination was set wondering asking and reliving. No answers accept he goes to our school and I have never seen him before.

Next day I am greeted getting off the bus by our principal and a police officer. I tell my story and am suspended with exam for expulsion for violating the no gun on campus law. Yup more books and this time not even a glimmer of hope. My secret message system reveals all in the car are implicating me as aggressor to the police. On February 14th 2001 im arrested by the Sherriff’s Office on felonious assault with the intent to kill. My legal knowledge begins growing quickly. This is a 25 year charge and yeah I am 18. Bad lawyers cost a lot. Good lawyers cost even more. Unless your part of there strategy good luck.

All I was told is I was screwed from every angle. I marvel in my own mentality of my mortality. I refused to give up! Eventually That call came. My recruiter explained he would speak in my behalf if I signed a contract. What was the difference prison or the army. One screamed future one didnt. I laughed at all this honestly by this point the choices were obvious choose between two shitty options. Choices come with side effects. My side effects are some where between a rock in a hard place. At age 18 I had already survived every childs nightmare a few times. I was a pussy millenial. One stabbing 2 attempted hospitalized as result of an assault multiple rapes 2 near death illnesses a drowning and recitation. Not to mention accusations that will stop you dead in your tracks. Oh and I was the bad guy in the eyes of most. So of course I decided to be all I can be. Lets get some good points with someone, anyone. My contract was interesting if I wanted it we were not doing it. I wanted infantry but was told there wasnt going to be a war. My smile showed up not gonna lie. They offered me military police. This is where you are going to get a course in military logic. The attempted murder will best serve in the position law enforcer. See this shows two sides too. This guy, the recruiter, knew this whole thing was bullshit. 2 members of a family I didnt really know that well yet mentioned this job explicitly at school maybe a 1000 times. I was almost sure they knew something about it but would later find out that they just randomly mentioned this there whole life for no reason at all. We signed, dotted, and shook. I didnt even get the cool freebies. I was the prey of the century for this dude. My rich dad of course bought a lawyer that I would spend 4 years of my life paying back with interest. Another life lesson to learn the aspect of not embarrassing the family. In court he barely defended walking in I was offered a great deal 10 years serving 6 do to the nature of the crime. I turned it down hoping the recruiter would be along quickly. In court the judge was less than impressed with me. He even called me a menace to society. That was without witnesses just statements I refused to read. Still haven’t to this day.

Any last words

Please someone help. Here walked in this soldier with the ugliest uniform and basically rescued me from the grips of Jackson State Penitentiary. It was explained that I could only have a misdemeanor to get in. Then the best of all. This was a broken paintball gun, dude didn’t have any marks and was not charged for the $1300 damage done to my vehicle. I paid for that too.

Wow lawyer ya mean we can use that as a defense?

16k invested and I still had to call in soldier boy for the win. 15 years later I will find out the 2 nerds who dry hump military police in their dreams dad just happens to sell coke to my lawyer on the regular all during this time. Coincidence I think not! I plead guilty to a lesser misdemeanor get youth instilled probation for 2 hours to my father. Just a minute ago tho I was literally a menace to society. Gotta love the justice system.

Be All You Can Be In The Army.

July 17th I shipped off to basic. The months leading up were a blur. I enjoyed them for the most part. They are some of the better days of my life. By this time the crazy kids died or are in jail. I still have a heart surprisingly. Its hanging by threads but its there. My high school sweet heart has only tried to kill herself once at this point. The devil hasnt quite showed up yet. The only intriguing things going on in my mind are how hard is this gonna be. Upon arrival on a bus that I swear has been heading to Fort Leonardwood for 15 hours now from St Louis airport which at worst is a 2 hour drive. We landed at 10 am and been driving since its now 2 am as we pull into the gates of well trees. Could not see much. I would later learn this place is referred to fort lost in the woods. We pull up to this building the doors open and we sit there. No one is breathing. The heat of Missouri is filling up the bus. The loud tough kids are dead silent. Something moves from the shadows. A giant moves at a pace almost with a distinct im gonna whoop your ass boy purpose. The giant steps on the bus comes to face us and says verbatum at a machine gun pace.

Privates welcome to fort leonardwood

Im drill sergeant lyons there are some foot prints outside when I step back off this bus you have 1 minute to unass this bus get your ass on those foot prints or you will fucking hate life.

The giant stepped off the bus and chaos exploded. Dudes are running into each other. All exits are being used including windows. Sanity has left. Someone was crying about their bag and I swear someone screamed mommy. The kid who didnt find the foot prints was put back on the bus that drove away and the rest of us began doing push ups because it took the group of 2:53 to get off the bus and in formation.

Basic training in 2001 was not like the movies. You learn useful things like how to get a 100 people to shower in under 5 minutes using 3 showers. Thats 5 minutes total not per person. Food is a privilege not a right. You know the mental breaking down of bright young minds into a robotic synergy that would give Jeff Bezos a hard on for life. It was simple my recruiter explained its all a head game. He even said on our phase 3 field training exercise (ftx) they would stage this mock war to scare us all to become real soldiers.

The weeks leading up too the phase 3 ftx we went and did details on site to get ready for our training. I of course was selected to go up to the site and do the fun things like loading and unloading supplies. It beat painting rocks. By the end of basic I wanted punch the pet rock inventor in the face. Just a side note.

Soon enough we were marching out on our phase 3 ftx. We had 50 lbs rucks and a 20 mile march ahead of us. At mile 2 drill sergeants started acting wierd. Mile 4 we were pulled off the road in security posture as tanks and trucks with lots of soldiers went by. Jets started flying over head which was unusual. Soon we were called into formation. A Colonel came by humvee and briefed us. First he seperated all soldiers from NYC and Washington DC into a seperate formation. I dont know what they were told but they left by truck shortly after. Then he came to us and told us to gather round. He said that some real world problems were occurring and our ftx was postponed but we would still be out here doing security due to the world problem at hand. Then he proceeded to tell us NYC and Washington DC were attacked this morning. Buildings destroyed people dying in the streets. He stated

We are still actively under attack. Causalities were estimated in the 1000s and that the world trade center had been destroyed along with the Pentagon.

I of course knew this was supposed to happen because my recruiter told me so. I just could not believe how real they were making it seem. I was watching drill sergeants sincerely play out this fake war occurring. Jets flying through the sky and tanks heading down the road. My head at ease the whole time. It wasnt till 10 pm when I ran into Hunt, who was in the other formation, explain the events of his day. He literally broke down crying. He explained the news casts, calling home and most vividly the sights he had witnessed. I would not see this event till november 22 2001. It finally sunk in then 1 this wasnt fake. 2 What really sunk in tho is these reoccurring nightmares I was having since about age 10 were probably real too. If I even knew how true this was then I would have walked home that night. Over the next few days im gonna share my story.

Questions contact djsunflower@thegroadie.com